Motivational Speech, Part 1

One of the first things you will hear as a graduate student is, "Don't worry when you fail your first test." I was told this by doctors as I left the Heart Hospital and by upper class men at Midwestern. When the doctor at the Heart Hospital told me this, one of the nurses turned to me and with an icy glare sarcastically said, "Not Morgan, she would never fail." I knew from past experience and from her tone that nothing would make her happier than for me to fall on my face. So, I spent two weekends straight in the library. I got up early and stayed up late (okay, late for me!). And I held my breath while I waited for those test results...I passed. With great scores. Moral of the story, never let anybody tell you that you will fail. Because if you believe it, they win. I have never worked this hard for anything in my life...but I have never wanted anything more. Life is looking up for the Morrow's.

:)

day 30, breakdown 2 and the letter that ruined my life..

I squeeze my eye lids together so tight that it hurts. "You make your own luck," I repeat over and over to myself trying to integrate it into my mantra list. But, as I learned today, sometimes one door closes so two doors can open (I think there is a law in physics for that too that I need to memorize by Thursday!). I imagine that I am one of those inflatable punching bags. The kind that you hit as hard as you can, but that keep popping back up no matter what.

The story:

I'm sitting in Biophysics today, surprised at how much I actually like physics. But suddenly, the small town feeling washes over me. I attribute this anxiety to the fact that today is the ABSOLUTE deadline for the bank. I have glimmers of hope rolled into threads of impending doom. So, I shoot my realtor a text message on my way to lunch.

(*actual text)

Hey Elise, has Analissa called yet? I'm getting some mega anxiety about the house. Morgan Morrow

Approximately five minutes later I get a phone call:

"Morgan, it's Elise. So, I have some bad news. The bank is refusing to handle your file because they are mad about a letter. Did you send a letter?"

Me:

"Yes, I sent an email to the advocacy department about three weeks ago but never heard back."

Elise:

"Well, they got the email and are pissed."

I'll spare you readers and paraphrase the rest of the conversation. Basically, my realtor claims an email I sent to Countrywide made them so upset, they refuse to deal with our file. My thought-seriously? How can one tiny, insignificant email tip the boat? Get my a life preserver because I off the ship.

I'm M-A-D:

1. I'm signing your paycheck realtor-why are you yelling at me?

2. An email CANNOT be the straw that broke the camel's back...what's really up? SHADY

3. See number one, SERIOUSLY!

So, Aaron and I are holding a family meeting to decide how we are going to proceed. I'm done. First, with our realtor for being so accusatory and disrespectful. Secondly, we've been dealing with this headache since February. As my nursing friends can attest,"dead meat don't beat."

Here is the email I wrote. What do you think? Was I overstepping my bounds (I already know the answer to that but reinforcement is always helpful).

Keep us in your thoughts. Through my morning runs, I have found a really CUTE neighborhood and some houses for sale. We are calling a new realtor that comes with the highest of recommendations from our new CRNA friends.

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing this letter as a plee to help end my current situation. My husband and I moved to Glendale, AZ so I could continue my education in the health care field. We chose Arizona over our other options because we were able to buy a house here. On March 1, we made a reasonable, fair market offer on a house and on March 1, the seller accepted this offer. Since then, we have run into a variety of hurdles. Every time we have contacted our realtor for more information about our house, we hear the words "no update." My husband and I have since had to vacate our other home to move to Arizona. We are currently living in a hotel with our cat and Boxer. This is a very undesirable situation, as you could image. I have pleeded with our realtor many times to push our offer into a closing without much help. I have called Countrywide but I do not have the account number on the mortgage. I would appreciate any help I could get. This is the first house I have ever bought and I am so excited to finally have something that is my own.

The house in question is:

**********
Glendale, AZ
85310

and the seller's name is ********. I pray that this email reaches someone that can assist me to finally close on this house.

Thank you for taking the time to hear my story.

Morgan Morrow

**name/address obviously changed because I feel bad for the seller. He will foreclose his home if this doesn't go through.

Word to the wise:

Short sale=not short. Unless short means painful and long.

My realtor=would NEVER recommend her (so if you move to Phoenix-call me and I'll tell you who she is)

Day 2, breakdown 1 and other stories

Scene 2, Act 1:
Women enters dog park with unusually attractive, rare, white boxer. Boxer proceeds to sniff around the dark park, peeing on all his usual spots. Women happily sips grande non-fat latte from Starbucks, soaks up the sunshine, tries to digest the monumental task of CRNA school, and reviews yesterday in her head (see below story). Enter Doberman puppy. Puppy bites Boxer. Boxer enjoys attention and chases puppy. Puppy does not seem to mind. (*IMPORTANT AUTHOR NOTE, Boxer NEVER bit or jumped on puppy and puppy never yelped!) Enter, puppy owner. Puppy owner (in a criticizing voice with bitchy overtones) to woman sipping latte, "Why do you always bring your dog here when he acts like that?" Puzzled, woman sipping latte feels the heat rise to her face, making her tomato-like. Puppy owner gathers puppy in a hurried manner and exits. Boxer runs to labs playing fetch. Lab owner, "I don't want your dog playing with mine if he is aggressive." Woman sipping latte feels tomato face in its full effect and is now getting "small town feeling." Latte woman gathers Boxer. Exit dog park. Woman enters car. Convulsive, messy breakdown.

(The previous day)

Scene 1, Act 1:
Monday morning approaches and so approaches my excitement. It is FINALLY our "absolute deadline" imposed by the bank to come to a complete/final decision regarding our home here. I give the realtor my cell phone number, email address, and complete day schedule so she can call me the MOMENT we get the GREEN LIGHT. Five o'clock....no call...I call the realtor. Voicemail. Leave a detailed message instructing her to call me. Get a return call approximately 1 hour later:

"The bank decided to make their thirty day deadline, thirty BUSINESS days."

Mini-meltdown followed but no tears...yet...small town feeling begins.

Scene 2, Act 1.

Amidst all of our chaos, Aaron and I decide to take a break and enjoy a WNBA game. I give Rugby and good scratch while Olivia rubs up against my leg. This usually means she feels left out so I also give her a pet and we head out the door. (*Author's note-Olivia is our cat). Aaron and I get in the car and begin to head towards down town Phoenix. About two exits into the trip, I smell something out of the ordinary (or as my dad would say, "I got a wiff of jiff!"). I sniff around my clothes (we did start working out again and it's HOT here!). Nothing. I sniff around Aaron. Nothing. The smell passes. Five minutes later, I get another wiff. What the heck? I roll down the window and frantically scan the car when I look down at my leg. Olivia rubbed up against me and sharted on me. We pull of on the first exit so I can stick my whole leg in the sink at Jack-In-The-Box and scrub it. I guess she was mad that she and Rugby have to share such close quarters. Life lesson: just when you think that you have hit rock bottom, you get pooped on. It happens! So don't take yourself so serious because, it is really rather funny.

Current Scene:

1. Lightbulb clicking for CRNA school but am overwhelmed by the volume of information I am supposed to be digesting. Luckily, the CRNA Class of 2011 is made up of the most bright, supportive, and generous people I have ever met. And for a bunch of ICU nurses, not one person comes across as bitchy or competitive (and for anyone who doesn't know what the ICU RN stereotype is, they are not the nicest people!!). Side note, CRNA school currently consists of

• Journal club-Morgan will soon become a published (!!) author. Will keep you updated with that.
• Biophysics-who knew "math really ISN'T that hard Barbie!"
• Anatomy-what is this little insignificant fiber next to this big blob. Name all of these for every body part. (Eek!)
• Biochemistry-name very amino acid ever and what is does this and that.

p.s. I have a name badge that says Nurse Anesthestist (student) and I have a tee shirt...

2. While my head can now completely rotates around its axis (i.e. "Exorcist"), Aaron and I are still "patiently" waiting for an answer on our house. Although, this week we began looking for other houses and making empty threats towards the realtors. Basically, whatever house we can get into first will be our house but all arrows point to "our" house right now. Everyone that knows me knows patience is not my strong suit so this is a very large lesson in humility. We are going on week three of living in a studio with the dog and the cat...
3. I am married to the most wonderful and supportive man on the face of this planet. People in my class are already having "marital" issues regarding the time CRNA school consumes. Aaron and I are stronger. He quizzes me on my homework and is generally interested in how CRNA school works. On days he is off, I come home (or the hotel rather) to dinner and a back massage. Absence is making my heart grow fonder. And I've been gone a lot.
4. Rugby and I no longer go to the dog park. I hate the dog park. I hate the dog park people. They are just dogs! Dogs jump on each other and chase each other. And I would advise you to seek Psychiatric attention if you worry about your dog's psyche. Rugby's brain is pea sized (he jumped out of the car window in rush hour traffic mind you!). No room for thought processing greater than pooping, eating, chasing the bunnies in the arroyo, and belly rubs. Rugby and I now go to Thunderbird park to hike where we frequently get stopped by people oohing and ahhing over him. The little ham loves it.
5. The most recent deadline for the house is the 22nd. Aaron and I are making pretty substantial (but honestly hollow) threats to get something in writing. You will be the first to know what those results are.
6. Morgan+weekends Aaron works=mega cram time, this is one of those weekends so I better finish planting my face in Biochemistry.

You are now up to full speed!